there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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