one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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