yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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