If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
