i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
