just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
