no, he came in my armpit
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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