that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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