PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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