The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
