I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
