I bet he comes in French.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
