wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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