And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
