it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
