Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
