While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
