It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
