Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
