it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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