When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
