I wish I could teleport
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
