i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
