Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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