I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
