I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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