I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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