i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
