What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
