we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
