Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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