whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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