You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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