Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
