i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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