Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
