you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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