; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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