It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
