yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
