Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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