just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
