mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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