And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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