he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
