this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
