it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
