theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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