My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
