he wants to bone in the snuggie
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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