God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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