She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
