So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Randomize
