if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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