I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
