Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
